After All

I want to create something

not just destroy

but i’ve been this way

since i was a boy

then i see you

and now i need to

repair the damage

and wash my hands

tuck in these shirt tails -

you understand

then i see you

and now i need you

there is dust and rocks where there was a river

and where trees had once grown tall

and though desolation lies all about me

there is life here after all

so tired of me

trying so hard

with others needy

in my backyard

oh i see you

yes i need to

forget the worries of

invented slights

build up the fire

and chase off the night

and i see you

and i hear you now

there was dust and rocks now washed by the river

and the trees are growing tall

and though desolation was all about me

there was life here after all

after all

Defining Characteristic

the blue ball on which i live

is illuminated.

that is why i know its color.

the light illuminating us

as we hurtle through space

has a source.

this blue ball offers no reason,

nor does it offer cause.

for the Sun does not shine

because the Earth is the Earth.

the Sun shines…

because the Sun is the Sun.

i know love.

not because i am me.

but because He is He.

Stage 4

what happened to the first three?

disease, murderous yet lazy, skipped them.

and us?

afraid of an eternity without sight

of her.

my son should know her.  will he get to

know the crazy-contagion of her laugh

and the funny cynicism of one

who thoroughly understands how

the world works?

i confess anger now. 

why did she choose foolishness?

oh but then i remember – she

rejected

abandoned

forgot

perhaps foolishness chose her.

perhaps it chose all of us.

hopelessness is also a cancer -

growing, destroying,

looming larger when the number

of tomorrows becomes countable.

one destroys breath

the other destroys future.

away with foolishness, dear woman.

come to hope

come to life

over here where i stand and see it so clear

he has a name

Jesus meant nothing for so long.

he sits where you left him, 

probably sipping Dr. Pepper

and singing Otis Redding, maybe Ray Charles,

but certainly hoping you will sing too.

and your faith, that was easier to put aside

than those damned cigarettes,

can erase the uncertainty

of tomorrow.

  

Family Time

We put the music away,
invited silence,
shifted our gaze.
i saw him, and him, and her, and her,
and you.
and you saw
me
and him, and him, and her, and her.
together.
individually.
we thought about
what
who
how
you are.
a ragtag band of miscreants and
a Holy God.

some stains

some stains refuse to be washed out:

mustard, wine, grease.

blood.

there are those that will swear to a remedy.

i have yet to see one

fully work,

fully clean.

out damned spot!

you proclaim my guilt as i,

head low, voice lower,

ask God

to attend on mortal thoughts.

i smell flowers.

i smell grace.

and i see on that ground

somewhat ascending

the wooden instrument

that laughed its way through a dirge

is that God’s blood i see?

oh scandalous joy.

for some stains refuse to be washed out.

The Reason

I saw those things you did,
      what you said
                      thought
                      felt
before they came to pass.
From up there on that mountain I looked down,
     saw the wind blow,
     saw the waves swell,
     saw your boat.
You were there, white-knuckled and scared and soaked.
I was there too - only damp shoes.
     I came to you - not to fuss
     about your poor sailing skills -

just for you.

Reflection on Strength

strength.
is that what we need?
to fight on
forge ahead
leave behind.
whatever.
is this what we have come to?
too weak to fight
too weak to resist
too weak to walk on
on our faces more than feet.
strength.
he told me it was what he needed
to stop falling for the same old 
temptations
trials
but more than that
strength to stop seeking
that which should not be sought.
strength?
i think not.
the more we lack
the more we gain.
His 
is better than
ours.